So I watched the pilot for “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”, which was so-so. There were various problematic things about it, but nothing moreso than this:
Now please understand, I’m a manly-man catch-bullets-in-my-teeth tough guy, so I’m not supposed to know or care about hairstyles, and I don’t, I promise… That’s why it took me years to notice how omnipresent this damn thing was, and why it bothered me so much.
I first noticed it in the ads for “Rizolli and Isles”. The whole point of this show is that these women have nothing in common. One is tough, butch and no-nonsense, while the other one is feminine, fancy, and stylish. But just look at the damn ads:
They’re clones! The “tough” one has the exact same super-girly hairstyle as the girly one! The problem is that no woman who isn’t paid to be pretty has ever woken up in the morning and given herself this hairstyle. It takes about half an hour. Stylists pride themselves on this hairstyle because it’s hard to create.
In real life, if you’ve got really long hair, you have limited options for keeping it out of your face: bangs, barrettes, ponytails, or product. Women with serious jobs only have time for the first three, but every career woman on TV or in movies somehow has time for the fourth. Here’s another example of two women who are supposed to be very different, and in this case they’re both supposed to be super tough: the remake of Total Recall...
How different can they be? They have the same damn hairstyle! And how tough can they be? They’ve both spent all morning with their stylist!
But “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” is a new low, because in this version, the character is a radical revolutionary who specifically explains in her very first scene that she lives in her van. This is not just a throwaway line. We see the van. There’s no shower. And she goes on constant rants against the government and conformity! And she’s got that goddamn hairstyle! I can’t take it anymore! I can’t take it!
That is all. I just had to get that out of my system. Back to real content tomorrow.