PART #1: CONCEPT 15/19
The Pitch: Does this concept excite everyone who hears about it?
Is the one sentence description
uniquely appealing?
A young Chinese-American woman
returns to China to see her dying grandma one last time, but nobody will let
her tell her grandma the truth.
Does the concept contain an
intriguing ironic contradiction?
Lying for an honorable reason,
withholding aggressive medical care with the idea that it would do more harm
than good because of the fear it would cause
Is this
a story anyone can identify with, projected onto a bigger canvas, with higher
stakes?
Wang says that the more specific
she made it to her culture the more universal it become. We’ve all told lies to family to make
them feel better, but not usually with life or death stakes.
Story Fundamentals: Will this concept generate a strong story?
Is the concept simple enough to
spend more time on character than plot?
Yes, there’s very little plot.
Is there one character that the
audience will choose to be their “hero”?
Yes, Billi
Does the story follow the
progress of the hero’s problem, not the hero’s daily life?
Yes, we see little
of her life outside this problem.
Does the story present a unique
relationship?
Yes, a girl and her
grandmother when the girl is hiding from the grandmother that she’s dying.
Is at least one actual human
being opposed to what the hero is doing?
Everyone in the film is opposed
to Billi’s wish to tell her grandma.
Does this challenge represent
the hero’s greatest hope and/or greatest fear and/or an ironic answer to the
hero’s question?
It represents her greatest fear:
That’s she’s too American for China but too Chinese for America.
Does something inside the hero
have a particularly volatile reaction to the challenge?
On the inside, she’s having a
volatile reaction, but she suppresses it all the way through the end of the
movie, which is very non-western.
Does this challenge become
something that is the not just hard for the hero to do (an obstacle) but hard for the hero to want to do (a conflict)?
Lying is easy enough to do, but
it’s hard to want to do. (In the
end, it becomes hard to do as well when she must go to great lengths to fake
the medical report.)
In the end, is the hero the only
one who can solve the problem?
Not at all. She’s the only one who can stop this,
but she chooses not to. And ultimately submitting to the will of the group
seems to work.
Does the hero permanently
transform the situation and vice versa?
No, she chooses not to transform
the situation at all, but it does transform her.
The Hook: Will this be
marketable and generate word of mouth?
Does the story satisfy the basic
human urges that get people to buy and recommend this genre?
Just
slightly. It intentionally
doesn’t deliver the drama it promises because the dam never breaks and the
truth never comes out, but along the way it makes us laugh and cry.
Does this story show us at least
one image we haven’t seen before (that can be used to promote the final
product)?
Not really.
Is there at least one “Holy
Crap!” scene (to create word of mouth)?
Not really. The crazy-wedding-seated-dance-game
thing is great trailer-fodder though.
Does the story contain a
surprise that is not obvious from the beginning?
Well, the big surprise is that
the dam never breaks.
Is the story marketable without
revealing the surprise?
Yes.
Is the conflict compelling and
ironic both before and after the
surprise?
Yes.
PART #2: CHARACTER 19/22
Believe: Do we recognize the
hero as a human being?
Does the hero have a moment of
humanity early on? (A funny, or kind, or oddball, or out-of-character, or
comically vain, or unique-but-universal “I thought I was the only one who did
that!” moment?)
On the phone with her grandma, she
lies that she’s wearing a hat to stay warm enough. Her grandma then warns her that in New
York criminals will rip your earrings right out of your ears. She signs a petition on the street to
save marine life just out of pity for the woman asking for signatures, then
has a friendly conversation about how she used to have that job, and admits
she quit before she could be fired.
Is the hero defined by ongoing
actions and attitudes, not by backstory?
Yes, we never learn much
backstory
Does the hero have a
well-defined public identity?
Her family has great hopes for
her.
Does the surface
characterization ironically contrast with a hidden interior self?
She’s hiding the fact that she
didn’t get a Guggenheim fellowship and feels like a failure.
Does the hero have a consistent
metaphor family (drawn from his or her job, background, or developmental
state)?
Sort
of, she sounds like a teenager, showing her arrested development. “Are you always going to live like
this?” “Poor and sexy, I hope
so.” But that amount of
personality is atypical. For the
most part, she has little verbal personality.
Does the hero have a default
personality trait?
Glum, which is a very alienating
trait
Does the hero have a default
argument tactic?
Appeal to Western ethical
reasoning. Tell a lot of lies
while insisting others tell the truth.
Is the hero’s primary motivation
for tackling this challenge strong, simple, and revealed early on?
She loves her grandma and wants
to tell her the truth, but ultimately chooses not to.
Care: Do we feel for the hero?
Does the hero start out with a
shortsighted or wrongheaded philosophy (or accept a false piece of advice
early on)?
“I don’t understand, she doesn’t have a lot of time left,
she should know, right?”
Does the hero have a false or
shortsighted goal in the first half?
Tell her grandma the truth
Does the hero have an open fear
or anxiety about his or her future, as well as a hidden, private fear?
She’s worried she’s going
nowhere, she’s worried that she’s too Chinese for America and too American
for China.
Is the hero physically and
emotionally vulnerable?
Emotionally very much so. The closest she comes to physical
vulnerability is when she comes back to her New York apartment and finds a
bird inside, despite the fact that no windows are open. Later, the same thing happens in her
China hotel room.
Does the hero have at least one
untenable great flaw we empathize with? (but…)
Ultimately the movie flips in
the final title card, revealing that her flaw was her self-centered, western
urge to tell the truth (which we had perceived to be a strength)
Invest: Can we trust the hero to
tackle this challenge?
…Is
that great flaw (ironically) the natural flip-side of a great strength we
admire?
… and that her strength was her
willingness to knuckle under (which we had perceived to be a flaw)
Is the hero curious?
Right away, she’s trying to
figure out where her Nai Nai
really is. She keeps demanding to
know why they’re doing this, trying to understand Chinese logic.
Is the hero generally
resourceful?
Not really, but when she finally
chooses to act, to fake the medical report, she does manage to summon the
resources to do it.
Does the hero have rules he or
she lives by (either stated or implied)?
Truth is better than lies,
action is better than inaction, the American way is better than the Chinese
way.
Is the hero surrounded by people
who sorely lack his or her most valuable quality?
No one around her wants to tell
the truth.
…And is the hero willing to let
them know that, subtly or directly?
Many times
Is the hero already doing
something active when we first meet him or her?
Sort of, she’s walking through
the streets talking on the cell phone with her grandma.
Does the hero have (or claim)
decision-making authority?
Just a bit, in that she chooses
to fly to China against their wishes.
Does the hero use
pre-established special skills from his or her past to solve problems (rather
than doing what anybody would do)?
Not really. I mean, you could say she uses her
writing skills to fake the document, but not really.
PART #3: STRUCTURE (If the story
is about the solving of a large problem) 18/21
1st Quarter: Is the
challenge laid out in the first quarter?
When the story begins, is the
hero becoming increasingly irritated about his or her longstanding social
problem (while still in denial about an internal flaw)?
She does not feel at home in
America and misses her grandma.
Does this problem become
undeniable due to a social humiliation at the beginning of the story?
She gets a letter denying her a
fellowship, confirming her fear that she’s not making it on her own.
Does the hero discover an
intimidating opportunity to fix the problem?
She finds out that she can to
visit China and her grandma, but only on the condition that her hide her
grandma’s cancer.
Does the hero hesitate until the
stakes are raised?
Her parents try to convince her
to not to come, sure that she can’t lie convincingly.
Does
the hero commit to pursuing the opportunity by the end of the first quarter?
She buys her own ticket and surprises
everybody.
2nd Quarter: Does the
hero try the easy way in the second quarter?
Does the hero’s pursuit of the
opportunity quickly lead to an unforeseen conflict with another person?
Well, it’s not really
unforeseen, but her grandma immediately asks her what’s wrong. Her grandma tries to teach her a
Chinese exercise routine but she resists.
Does the hero try the easy way
throughout the second quarter?
She puts on a fake smile and
tries to keep quiet.
Does the hero have a little fun
and get excited about the possibility of success?
Not really. She tries to relax
at a spa, but without much success.
Does the easy way lead to a big
crash around the midpoint, resulting in the loss of a safe space and/or
sheltering relationship?
Grandma gets sicker and goes to
the hospital.
3rd Quarter: Does the
hero try the hard way in the third quarter?
Does the hero try the hard way
from this point on?
She confronts Grandma’s doctor
and tries to convince the family to tell her, but the doctor and her family
talk her out of it.
Does the hero find out who his
or her real friends and real enemies are?
Her father switches to her side,
but is still outvoted. She feels
betrayed by Nai Nai
herself, when Nai-Nai’s sister tells her that Nai Nai lied to her husband
about his cancer.
Do the stakes, pace, and
motivation all escalate at this point?
Sort of. She confronts her uncle, convinced
he’s the ringleader.
Does the hero learn from
mistakes in a painful way?
Her uncle convinces her she
would have to stay in China to take care of Nai Nai , and she decides to do so…
Does a further setback lead to a
spiritual crisis?
…but her mother quickly
disabuses her of that notion. (She
can’t cook, clean, or write Chinese.)
4th Quarter: Does the
challenge climax in the fourth quarter?
Does the hero adopt a corrected
philosophy after the spiritual crisis?
You would think she would say
something subtly showing that she’s coming around during her wedding speech,
but her speech is unmemorable.
(The closest thing she gets to a corrected statement of philosophy is
her final line of the movie where she comes home and shouts “Ha!” using her
grandma’s exercise mantra.)
After that crisis, does the hero
finally commit to pursuing a corrected goal, which still seems far away?
She happily joins in a drinking
game with her family, no longer feeling disconnected from them.
Before the final quarter of the
story begins, (if not long before) has your hero switched to being proactive,
instead of reactive?
Yes, when…
Despite these proactive steps,
is the timeline unexpectedly moved up, forcing the hero to improvise for the
finale?
She finds out that her grandma
has sent the maid for her test results and goes running out to intercept the
maid. She doctors the results to
further the deception.
Do all strands of the story and
most of the characters come together for the climactic confrontation?
Very much not. They all gather to watch the grandma
read the faked results, but nobody confronts anybody.
Does the hero’s inner struggle
climax shortly after (or possible at the same time as) his or her outer
struggle?
She finally tells her Nai Nai one piece of truth,
that she didn’t get the fellowship.
They bond as much as they can without the truth of the diagnosis
coming out.
Is there an epilogue/ aftermath/
denouement in which the challenge is finally resolved (or succumbed to), and
we see how much the hero has changed (possibly through reversible behavior)
She returns home to New York, feels
overwhelmed, then stops on the street and shouts “Ha!”, which she refused to
do before. We then find out that
the grandma is still alive six years later.
PART #4: SCENEWORK 15/20
(Finding out about Nai Nai’s
diagnosis from her parents)
The Set-Up: Does this scene
begin with the essential elements it needs?
Were tense and/or hopeful (and
usually false) expectations for this interaction established beforehand?
She thinks that she’ll find out
her dad is sick or drunk.
Does the scene eliminate small
talk and repeated beats by cutting out the beginning (or possibly even the
middle)?
Not really. It starts at the beginning.
Is this an intimidating setting
that keeps characters active?
She’s just said to her mom,
“Mom, if you’re going to give me shit every time I come home, I’m not coming
home anymore,” so she feels intimidated there.
Is one of the scene partners not
planning to have this conversation (and quite possibly has something better
to do)?
The dad doesn’t want to discuss
it.
Is there at least one non-plot
element complicating the scene?
No.
Does the scene establish its own
mini-ticking-clock (if only through subconscious anticipation)?
No.
The Conflict: Do the conflicts
play out in a lively manner?
Does
this scene both advance the plot and reveal character through emotional
reactions?
Yes.
Does the audience have (or
develop) a rooting interest in this scene (which may sometimes shift)?
We identify with Billi and want her to find out the truth.
Are two agendas genuinely
clashing (rather than merely two personalities)?
Yes.
Does the scene have both a
surface conflict and a suppressed conflict (one of which is the primary
conflict in this scene)?
Surface: Let me go visit
grandma. Suppressed: I’m not too
American for China, or if I am, it’s because American values are better.
Is the suppressed conflict
(which may or may not come to the surface) implied through subtext (and/or
called out by the other character)?
No, it’s all plainly stated.
Are the characters cagy (or in
denial) about their own feelings?
The parents pretend not to be
too upset.
Do characters use verbal tricks
and traps to get what they want, not just direct confrontation?
Her mom references her dad’s
joke, which Billi laughed at before, to mock Billi’s position, which Billi
has no response to.
Is there re-blocking, including
literal push and pull between the scene partners (often resulting in just one
touch)?
There’s reblocking ,
but nobody touches each other.
Are objects given or taken,
representing larger values?
No.
The Outcome: Does this scene
change the story going forward?
As a result of this scene, does
at least one of the scene partners end up doing something that he or she
didn’t intend to do when the scene began?
Not yet. They convince her not to go, but not
for long.
Does the outcome of the scene
ironically reverse (and/or ironically fulfill) the original intention?
She finds out the truth but
humiliates herself in the process, admitting to her powerlessness.
Are previously-asked questions
answered and new questions posed?
Answered: What’s going on? Asked: What will Billi
do about it?
Does the scene cut out early, on
a question (possibly to be answered instantly by the circumstances of the
next scene)?
Ends on: ”If
you go now, she will find out right away.” Is that true?
Is the audience left with a
growing hope and/or fear for what might happen next? (Not just in the next
scene, but generally)
We wonder if Billi
will be able to keep the secret.
PART #5: DIALOGUE 16/16
Empathetic: Is the dialogue true
to human nature?
Does the writing demonstrate
empathy for all of the characters?
Yes.
Does each of the characters,
including the hero, have a limited perspective?
Yes, very much. Both Nai Nai and Billi have a very
limited perspective, in different ways.
Do the characters consciously
and unconsciously prioritize their own wants, rather than the wants of
others?
It’s about learning to tell the
difference.
Are the characters
resistant to openly admitting their feelings (to others and even to
themselves)?
Very much so.
Do the characters avoid saying
things they wouldn’t say and doing things they wouldn’t do?
Yes.
Do the characters interrupt each
other often?
Yes.
Specific: Is the dialogue specific to this world and each personality?
Does the dialogue capture the
jargon and tradecraft of the profession and/or setting?
The two cultures are contrasted
in their language.
Are there additional characters
with distinct metaphor families, default personality traits, and default
argument strategies from the hero’s?
Nai Nai :
Metaphor family: chirpy-but-hectoring grandma, personality trait: wants
things her way but also wants to keep things pleasant, argument strategy:
tell white lies to get what she wants.
Heightened: Is the dialogue more
pointed and dynamic than real talk?
Is the dialogue more concise
than real talk?
Yes.
Does the dialogue have more
personality than real talk?
Just a bit.
Are there minimal commas in the
dialogue (the lines are not prefaced with Yes, No, Well, Look, or the other
character’s name)?
Yes.
Do non-professor characters
speak without dependent clauses, conditionals, or parallel construction?
Yes.
Are the non-3-dimensional
characters impartially polarized into head, heart and gut?
They’re all three-dimensional. To a certain extent, the mom is head,
the father is gut and Billi is heart, but they’re
ultimately more complex than that.
Strategic: Are certain dialogue scenes withheld until necessary?
Does the hero have at least one
big “I understand you” moment with a love interest or primary emotional
partner?
Her Nai Nai
perceptively sees her problems, and her uncle sees her flaws.
Is exposition withheld until the
hero and the audience are both demanding to know it?
There’s no exposition.
Is there one gutpunch
scene, where the subtext falls away and the characters really lay into each
other?
Sort of with her uncle.
Part #6:
Tone 10/10
Genre: Does the story tap into
pre-established expectations?
Is the story limited to one
genre (or multiple genres that are merged from the beginning?)
Dramedy
Is the story limited to
sub-genres that are compatible with each other, without mixing metaphors?
Big-lie family gathering
Does the ending satisfy most of
the expectations of the genre, and defy a few others?
It majorly defies
expectations. We’re totally
expecting the lies to come out.
But it satisfies a few as well, with heartfelt scenes and laughs.
Separate from the genre, is a
consistent mood (goofy, grim, ‘fairy tale’, etc.) established early and
maintained throughout?
Unfortunately, like too many
indie films, it has a blue filter on it, literally and figuratively. I guess you could say the mood is
“indie.” Mood is the movie’s
biggest flaw.
Framing: Does the story set,
reset, upset and ultimately exceed its own expectations?
Is there a dramatic question
posed early on, which will establish in the audience’s mind which moment will
mark the end of the story?
Well, we’re primed for the lie
to come out, and, whether or not it does, for her to die, but neither
comes. But the movie is
structured around the trip and does end when the trip ends.
Does
the story use framing devices to establish genre, mood and expectations?
We begin with an
intercut phone call between Nai Nai
and Billi , establishing the worlds. The first shot is a picture of a
beautiful Chinese landscape, but then we realize it’s just a picture in a
hospital, establishing the idea of lies and masking illness.
Are there characters whose
situations prefigure various fates that might await the hero?
Yes, some of the family members
seem to have found success either by leaving or staying in China and others
seem to have failed by doing one or the other, so lots of possible fates.
Does foreshadowing create
anticipation and suspense (and refocus the audience’s attention on what’s
important)?
The doctor says that they lied
to his mother about her cancer but she died shortly thereafter.
Are reversible behaviors used to
foreshadow and then confirm change?
She switches to
joining in the deception, she switches to telling the truth about her
fellowship.
Is the dramatic question
answered at the very end of the story?
Yes, we see that the lie doesn’t
come out, Billi doesn’t tell the truth, and Nai Nai doesn’t die.
PART 7: THEME 13/14
Difficult: Is the meaning of the
story derived from a fundamental moral dilemma?
Can the overall theme be stated
in the form of an irreconcilable good vs. good (or evil vs. evil) dilemma?
Is it better (and healthier) to
live a happy lie or an unhappy truth?
Is a thematic question asked out
loud (or clearly implied) in the first half, and left open?
”She should know, right?”
Do the characters consistently
have to choose between goods, or between evils, instead of choosing between
good and evil?
She keeps being put in moral
dilemmas in China.
Grounded: Do the stakes ring
true to the world of the audience?
Does the story reflect the way
the world works?
Yes, it’s a true story.
Does the story have something
authentic to say about this type of setting (Is it based more on observations
of this type of setting than ideas about it)?
Very much so, it’s based on a
true story of the filmmaker’s visit to China and shows many authentic things
she noticed. (I mean, it
certainly never comes up that this is a dictatorship, and they probably
wouldn’t have been able to shoot there if they had mentioned that, but it
still has a lot to say about the nature of modern China without mentioning
that very big elephant in the room)
Does the story include twinges
of real life national pain?
Hints of it for both countries.
Are these issues and the overall
dilemma addressed in a way that avoids moral hypocrisy?
Well, not really, because
dictatorship is never mentioned.
Do all of the actions have real
consequences?
Yes, but not what we
expect. Inaction ends up with
positive consequences.
Subtle: Is the theme interwoven throughout so that it need not be
discussed often?
Do many small details throughout
subtly and/or ironically tie into the thematic dilemma?
There are dozens of little lies
that both Nai Nai and Billi tell that are counterpointed with the big lie that
the other family members are telling Nai Nai .
Are one or more objects
representing larger ideas exchanged throughout the story, growing in meaning
each time?
When she chooses to join the
lie, it’s in the form of an object she has to forge with difficulty.
Untidy: Is the dilemma ultimately
irresolvable?
Does the ending tip towards one
side of the thematic dilemma without resolving it entirely?
Happy lie is seemingly better,
but we’re not sure of that.
Does the story’s outcome
ironically contrast with the initial goal?
She doesn’t achieve her original
goal of telling the truth and decides it was better not to.
In the end, is the plot not
entirely tidy (some small plot threads left unresolved, some answers left
vague)?
It’s very untidy. We never find out if Billi finds a way to make it in NYC, etc.
Do the characters refuse (or
fail) to synthesize the meaning of the story, forcing the audience to do
that?
Yes.
2 comments:
"Unfortunately, like too many indie films, it has a blue filter on it, literally and figuratively. I guess you could say the mood is 'indie.'"
Would you be able to explain the figuratively part? Are you just referring to the mood many indie films have (in which case no need to explain), or were you getting at something else?
No, that's what I meant. I hate it when cinematographers point their camera at the world and think, "Oh that looks too much like normal life, I should put a blue filter on it so it'll look more like a movie," but they usually do these days. You can see in the DVD documentary behind-the-scenes footage where you see what the real colors were, then the cut to the shot from the film that's been blued up, and it's a bummer. The problem is that it makes the movie "blue" both literally and figuratively, giving it that glum "indie" feeling. That was all I meant.
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