Max Fischer is a scholarship student at an elite private school, where he runs all the clubs but neglects his grades. He strikes up a friendship with a school funder, Mr. Blume, and develops a crush on a Kindergarten teacher, Ms. Cross. When the dean Dr. Guggenheim kicks him out, Max ends up in public school, but he continues his schemes to get Ms. Cross. Instead, she falls for Bloom. Max tries to get revenge, but ultimately helps get them together and finds a girl his own age.
PART
#1: CONCEPT 18/19
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The Pitch: Does this concept excite everyone who
hears about it?
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Is the
one sentence description uniquely appealing?
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Somewhat: A precocious high schooler falls in love with a
teacher, then loses her to his own best friend, a rich school funder.
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Does
the concept contain an intriguing ironic contradiction?
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Somewhat: a young man who
acts old.
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Is this a story anyone can identify with, projected onto
a bigger canvas, with higher stakes?
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We’ve all had unrequited
love.
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Story Fundamentals: Will this concept generate a
strong story?
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Is the
concept simple enough to spend more time on character than plot?
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Yes.
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Is
there one character that the audience will choose to be their “hero”?
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Max.
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Does
the story follow the progress of the hero’s problem, not the hero’s daily
life?
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Yes. The months projected on curtains keep
things moving swiftly along.
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Does
the story present a unique relationship?
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Yes, a
student and his school’s funder.
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Is at
least one actual human being opposed to what the hero is doing?
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Dr.
Guggenheim, and everybody else at one time or another.
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Does
this challenge represent the hero’s greatest hope and/or greatest fear and/or
an ironic answer to the hero’s question?
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Greatest
fear: getting kicked out, Greatest hope: the love of Miss Cross.
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Does
something inside the hero have a particularly volatile reaction to the
challenge?
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Yes.
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Does
this challenge become something that is the not just hard for the hero to do (an obstacle) but hard for the hero
to want to do (a conflict)?
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Yes, he
must admit that he’s a barber’s son in order to repair the damage he does and
find happiness.
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In the
end, is the hero the only one who can solve the problem?
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Yes.
Even Cross and Blume only get back to together due to his manipulations.
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Does
the hero permanently transform the situation and vice versa?
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Very
much so.
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The
Hook: Will this be marketable and generate word of mouth?
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Does
the story satisfy the basic human urges that get people to buy and recommend
this genre?
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Yes,
it’s funny and touching.
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Does
this story show us at least one image we haven’t seen before (that can be
used to promote the final product)?
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Max and
his clubs. Max with his bees. The blazer and red hat.
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Is
there at least one “Holy Crap!” scene (to create word of mouth)?
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The
bees. The war in general.
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Does
the story contain a surprise that is not obvious from the beginning?
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Blume
and Cross get together, Max ends up helping them.
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Is the
story marketable without revealing the surprise?
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Yes.
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Is the
conflict compelling and ironic both before and after the surprise?
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Yes.
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PART
#2: CHARACTER 22/22
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Believe:
Do we recognize the hero as a human being?
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Does
the hero have a moment of humanity early on? (A funny, or kind, or oddball,
or out-of-character, or comically vain, or unique-but-universal “I thought I
was the only one who did that!” moment?)
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Comically
vain: imagining himself in math class, chatting with the dean and funder,
etc.
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Is the
hero defined by ongoing actions and attitudes, not by backstory?
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Yes.
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Does
the hero have a well-defined public identity?
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The
precocious kid-playwright
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Does
the surface characterization ironically contrast with a hidden interior self?
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The
failing lost soul
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Does
the hero have a consistent metaphor family (drawn from his or her job,
background, or developmental state)?
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1950s
public intellectual “May I see some documentation” “I don’t want to tell you
how to do your job, but”, “strongly agree with your views”, “and whatnot”
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Does
the hero have a default personality trait?
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Enthusiastic
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Does
the hero have a default argument tactic?
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Dismissive
of all opposition
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Is the
hero’s primary motivation for tackling this challenge strong, simple, and
revealed early on?
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He
wants love, friendship, respect, etc.
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Care:
Do we feel for the hero?
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Does
the hero start out with a shortsighted or wrongheaded philosophy (or accept a
false piece of advice early on)?
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”What
are you going to do?” “The only thing I can do: try to pull some strings with
the administration.” “When one man, for whatever reason, has the opportunity
to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself.”
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Does
the hero have a false or shortsighted goal in the first half?
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Stay at
Rushmore forever.
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Does
the hero have an open fear or anxiety about his or her future, as well as a
hidden, private fear?
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Open:
He wants a girlfriend. Hidden: That he’s just a barber’s son.
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Is the
hero physically and emotionally vulnerable?
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Very
much so. He gets bruised and
heart-broken regularly.
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Does
the hero have at least one untenable great flaw we empathize with? (but…)
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He’s
vainglorious.
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Invest:
Can we trust the hero to tackle this challenge?
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…Is that great flaw (ironically) the natural
flip-side of a great strength we admire?
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He’s
romantic and enthusiastic.
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Is the
hero curious?
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Very
much so.
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Is the
hero generally resourceful?
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Very
much so.
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Does
the hero have rules he or she lives by (either stated or implied)?
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Do
more. Impress everyone. Prove I’m smarter.
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Is the
hero surrounded by people who sorely lack his or her most valuable quality?
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Yes.
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…And
is the hero willing to let them know that, subtly or directly?
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Yes.
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Is the
hero already doing something active when we first meet him or her?
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He’s
head of a dozen clubs. He
producing his play.
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Does
the hero have (or claim) decision-making authority?
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Very
much so. He gives orders to the
head of the school.
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Does
the hero use pre-established special skills from his or her past to solve
problems (rather than doing what anybody would do)?
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He
attacks Blume with bees, etc.
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PART
#3: STRUCTURE (If the story is about the solving of a large problem) 16/21
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1st
Quarter: Is the challenge laid out in the first quarter?
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When
the story begins, is the hero becoming increasingly irritated about his or
her longstanding social problem (while still in denial about an internal
flaw)?
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It
annoys him that Dr. Guggenheim wants to kick him out. He also begins to discover
puberty.
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Does
this problem become undeniable due to a social humiliation at the beginning
of the story?
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He’s
told he’ll be kicked out.
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Does
the hero discover an intimidating opportunity to fix the problem?
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The
opportunity is obvious: study, but he refuses to consider it until very late
in the movie. Instead he pursues
an imaginary opporunity for romance.
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Does
the hero hesitate until the stakes are raised?
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No, he jumps
right in.
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Does the hero commit to pursuing the opportunity by the
end of the first quarter?
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Earlier.
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2nd
Quarter: Does the hero try the easy way in the second quarter?
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Does
the hero’s pursuit of the opportunity quickly lead to an unforeseen conflict
with another person?
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Many.
She’s not interested and Dr. Guggenheim is opposed to all of Max’s tricks.
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Does
the hero try the easy way throughout the second quarter?
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This movie’s
“second quarter” is very short, and its “third quarter” is very long. To a certain extent, Max continues to
try “the easy way” until the ¾ point, but his big crash happens much at 34
minutes in.
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Does
the hero have a little fun and get excited about the possibility of success?
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He has
a lot of fun. He thinks that the
aquarium will win Miss Cross over.
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Does the
easy way lead to a big crash around the midpoint, resulting in the loss of a
safe space and/or sheltering relationship?
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There’s a big
crash, but it happens 20 minutes early: Max’s aquarium is shut down and he
gets kicked out, also losing the friendship of Ms. Cross at the time. It was really shocking when
rewatching this movie to realize how early this happens: Most of the movie
isn’t set at Rushmore.
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3rd
Quarter: Does the hero try the hard way in the third quarter?
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Does
the hero try the hard way from this point on?
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Yes and
no. He’s still pretty
delusional, but he starts working harder.
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Does
the hero find out who his or her real friends and real enemies are?
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Yes, he
feels betrayed when Mr. Blume starts sleeping with Ms. Cross.
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Do the
stakes, pace, and motivation all escalate at this point?
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Yes.
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Does
the hero learn from mistakes in a painful way?
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Yes.
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Does a
further setback lead to a spiritual crisis?
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Ms.
Cross definitively rejects him and he drops out to become a barber.
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4th
Quarter: Does the challenge climax in the fourth quarter?
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Does
the hero adopt a corrected philosophy after the spiritual crisis?
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”I’m
just a barber’s son.” About his plan for the aquarium (and therefore his
crush on Ms. Cross): “I gave it to a friend.”
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After
that crisis, does the hero finally commit to pursuing a corrected goal, which
still seems far away?
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He
creates a similar life for himself at Grover Cleveland to the one he had at
Rushmore: puts on a new play, etc.
He also vows to get Blume and Cross back together.
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Before
the final quarter of the story begins, (if not long before) has your hero
switched to being proactive, instead of reactive?
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He’s
proactive throughout.
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Despite
these proactive steps, is the timeline unexpectedly moved up, forcing the
hero to improvise for the finale?
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Sort of. Ms. Cross doesn’t show up to the
second aquarium opening either, so he has to come up with something new (the
play)
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Do all
strands of the story and most of the characters come together for the
climactic confrontation?
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Yes,
everybody’s at the play.
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Does
the hero’s inner struggle climax shortly after (or possible at the same time
as) his or her outer struggle?
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No, it ends
earlier, and it ends offscreen.
They want us to believe that he’s buidling up to a school shooting, so
they don’t show us that he’s dealt everything and moved on. We just figure that out when we see
the play.
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Is
there an epilogue/ aftermath/ denouement in which the challenge is finally
resolved (or succumbed to), and we see how much the hero has changed
(possibly through reversible behavior)
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Yes, he introduces his real father to
everyone, and his selection of song “I wish that I knew what I know now, when
I was younger,” lets us know that he’s learned.
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PART
#4: SCENEWORK 17/20 (Max introduces himself to Ms. Cross on the bleachers)
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The
Set-Up: Does this scene begin with the essential elements it needs?
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Were
tense and/or hopeful (and usually false) expectations for this interaction
established beforehand?
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We know
that he’s determined to woo her.
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Does
the scene eliminate small talk and repeated beats by cutting out the
beginning (or possibly even the middle)?
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It begins at
the beginning.
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Is
this an intimidating setting that keeps characters active?
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He’s
hitting on a teacher on school grounds, and has to seem to keep his distance.
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Is one
of the scene partners not planning to have this conversation (and quite
possibly has something better to do)?
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She was
trying to read.
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Is
there at least one non-plot element complicating the scene?
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Cancelling
Latin.
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Does
the scene establish its own mini-ticking-clock (if only through subconscious
anticipation)?
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When
will he finally sit next to her?
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The
Conflict: Do the conflicts play out in a lively manner?
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Does this scene both advance the plot and reveal
character through emotional reactions?
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She’s
charmed. He’s disarmed, but
recovers his cool.
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Does
the audience have (or develop) a rooting interest in this scene (which may
sometimes shift)?
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We’re
rooting for him but identifying with her.
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Are
two agendas genuinely clashing (rather than merely two personalities)?
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Just
slightly: she defends Latin.
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Does
the scene have both a surface conflict and a suppressed conflict (one of
which is the primary conflict in this scene)?
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Surface:
Don’t smoke, don’t badmouth Latin, Suppressed: I like you.
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Is the
suppressed conflict (which may or may not come to the surface) implied
through subtext (and/or called out by the other character)?
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He
lights her cigarette. They
switch to a romance language.
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Are
the characters cagy (or in denial) about their own feelings?
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Very
much so on his part.
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Do
characters use verbal tricks and traps to get what they want, not just direct
confrontation?
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Did he
steal her lighter? It’s possible.
He pretends to read a book he thinks will impress her. He feigns lack of knowledge about
her.
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Is
there re-blocking, including literal push and pull between the scene partners
(often resulting in just one touch)?
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He
makes a show of moving closer and futher away from her (with unintentionally
loud clanking on the bleachers) and then shakes hands with her at the end.
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Are
objects given or taken, representing larger values?
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He
gives her a light at the beginning.
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The
Outcome: Does this scene change the story going forward?
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As a
result of this scene, does at least one of the scene partners end up doing
something that he or she didn’t intend to do when the scene began?
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Max
nonsensically decides to save Latin.
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Does
the outcome of the scene ironically reverse (and/or ironically fulfill) the
original intention?
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No, it all goes
according to plan.
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Are
previously-asked questions answered and new questions posed?
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Previous:
How will he try to score a chick? New: How far will he go with this?
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Does
the scene cut out early, on a question (possibly to be answered instantly by
the circumstances of the next scene)?
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No.
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Is the
audience left with a growing hope and/or fear for what might happen next?
(Not just in the next scene, but generally)
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He
seems to be going further off the deep end.
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PART
#5: DIALOGUE 14/16
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Empathetic:
Is the dialogue true to human nature?
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Does
the writing demonstrate empathy for all of the characters?
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Yes.
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Does
each of the characters, including the hero, have a limited perspective?
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Very
much so.
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Do the
characters consciously and unconsciously prioritize their own wants, rather
than the wants of others?
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Yes.
Max and Blume genuinely try to be friends but neither is willing to check his
outrageous selfishness.
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Are
the characters resistant to openly admitting their feelings (to others and
even to themselves)?
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Yes.
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Do the
characters avoid saying things they wouldn’t say and doing things they
wouldn’t do?
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Yes.
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Do the
characters interrupt each other often?
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Yes.
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Specific: Is the dialogue specific to this world
and each personality?
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Does
the dialogue capture the jargon and tradecraft of the profession and/or
setting?
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Max talks like an expert in every
field. When he finds out that
Blume was in Vietnam, he insantly asks “Were you in the shit?”
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Are
there additional characters with distinct metaphor families, default
personality traits, and default argument strategies from the hero’s?
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Metaphor family: Blume: Working class
/ vet, Cross: England/Harvard, Default personality trait: Blume: depressed,
Cross: cool and wise, Argument strategy: Blume: Gives up, Cross: Calls our
your real agenda
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Heightened:
Is the dialogue more pointed and dynamic than real talk?
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Is the
dialogue more concise than real talk?
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Yes.
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Does
the dialogue have more personality than real talk?
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Yes.
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Are
there minimal commas in the dialogue (the lines are not prefaced with Yes,
No, Well, Look, or the other character’s name)?
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Max talks like
a professor, but it’s supposed to be odd, so that’s okay.
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Do
non-professor characters speak without dependent clauses, conditionals, or
parallel construction?
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Yes.
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Are
the non-3-dimensional characters impartially polarized into head, heart and
gut?
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Everybody
is 3-dimensional.
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Strategic: Are certain dialogue scenes withheld
until necessary?
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Does
the hero have at least one big “I understand you” moment with a love interest
or primary emotional partner?
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He tries to create fake moments with Ms. Cross, but then he has a genuine one with Margaret Yang, when he finds that she's created an adorable flight plan for her model plane just like he would make.
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Is
exposition withheld until the hero and the audience are both demanding to
know it?
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No, it’s
awkwardly dumped on us in the first scene.
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Is
there one gutpunch scene, where the subtext falls away and the characters
really lay into each other?
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Yes,
the scene where Cross finally lets him down harshly.
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PART
#6: TONE 9/10
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Genre:
Does the story tap into pre-established expectations?
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Is the
story limited to one genre (or multiple genres that are merged from the
beginning?)
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The
coming of age movie
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Is the
story limited to sub-genres that are compatible with each other, without
mixing metaphors?
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No
subgenres.
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Does
the ending satisfy most of the expectations of the genre, and defy a few
others?
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All are
satisfied.
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Separate
from the genre, is a consistent mood (goofy, grim, ‘fairy tale’, etc.)
established early and maintained throughout?
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I
suppose the word would be “precious”, but that sounds insulting when it’s
actually charming.
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Framing:
Does the story set, reset, upset and ultimately exceed its own expectations?
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Is
there a dramatic question posed early on, which will establish in the
audience’s mind which moment will mark the end of the story?
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We
think the question will be, “Can Max stay in Rushmore?”, but he’s kicked out
early on, so instead it becomes, “Will Max find love?”
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Does the story use framing devices to establish
genre, mood and expectations?
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The
curtains establish a theatrical artificiality and formalism.
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Are
there characters whose situations prefigure various fates that might await
the hero?
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Not
really. Max is one-of-a-kind.
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Does
foreshadowing create anticipation and suspense (and refocus the audience’s
attention on what’s important)?
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We see
odd glimpses of planning of his schemes before we see what he’s really doing.
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Are
reversible behaviors used to foreshadow and then confirm change?
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Lots.
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Is the
dramatic question answered at the very end of the story?
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He gets
a girlfriend in Margaret Yang.
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PART
7: THEME 10/14
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Difficult:
Is the meaning of the story derived from a fundamental moral dilemma?
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Can
the overall theme be stated in the form of an irreconcilable good vs. good
(or evil vs. evil) dilemma?
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Ambition
vs. Acceptance
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Is a
thematic question asked out loud (or clearly implied) in the first half, and
left open?
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“When
one man, for whatever reason, has the opportunity to lead an extraordinary
life, he has no right to keep it to himself.” Is it true? Or are there good reasons to be
normal?
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Do the
characters consistently have to choose between goods, or between evils, instead
of choosing between good and evil?
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Not
really. Max’s madness drives the
plot, not hard choices.
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Grounded:
Do the stakes ring true to the world of the audience?
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Does
the story reflect the way the world works?
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Not
really. It’s very silly. It’s very much a pre-Columbine,
pre-9/11 movie, in terms of what Max gets away with.
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Does
the story have something authentic to say about this type of setting (Is it
based more on observations of this type of setting than ideas about it)?
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The
politics of private school (and public school) are well-observed.
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Does
the story include twinges of real life national pain?
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Just slightly:
Max’s plays are about national pain (Vietnam, Watergate, Serpico) but he
fails to seriously grapple with these issues (although his play does make
Vietnam vet Blume cry), but the movie itself is totally
decontextualized. We don’t know
what city we’re in or what year it is.
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Are
these issues and the overall dilemma addressed in a way that avoids moral
hypocrisy?
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NA
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Do all
of the actions have real consequences?
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Yes and
no. Max’s schemes all fall apart
believably, and he suffers, but not as much as he really would.
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Subtle: Is the theme interwoven throughout so
that it need not be discussed often?
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Do
many small details throughout subtly and/or ironically tie into the thematic
dilemma?
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Max’s
plays, etc.
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Are
one or more objects representing larger ideas exchanged throughout the story,
growing in meaning each time?
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Max’s
medals, the swiss army knife, the fish, the bent bike, etc.
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Untidy:
Is the dilemma ultimately irresolvable?
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Does
the ending tip towards one side of the thematic dilemma without resolving it
entirely?
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Acceptance
is better than ambition, but ambition still looks pretty great.
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Does
the story’s outcome ironically contrast with the initial goal?
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He
tries to hook up Cross with Blume instead of trying to break them up.
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In the
end, is the plot not entirely tidy (some small plot threads left unresolved,
some answers left vague)?
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Yes,
everyone is there for the finale, but their stories don’t wrap up neatly.
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Do the
characters refuse (or fail) to synthesize the meaning of the story, forcing
the audience to do that?
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Yes. Max has learned a lot, but he doesn’t
want to talk about it much.
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Final Score: 106 out of 122
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