PART
#1: CONCEPT 18/19
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The Pitch: Does this concept excite everyone who
hears about it?
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Is the
one sentence description uniquely appealing?
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A 1930s private detective discovers a massive conspiracy to
control Los Angeles
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Does
the concept contain an intriguing ironic contradiction?
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The ultimate cynic finds
out he’s actually naïve.
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Is this a story anyone can identify with, projected onto
a bigger canvas, with higher stakes?
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A journey into the world’s
darkness, but with the future of LA at stake.
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Story Fundamentals: Will this concept generate a
strong story?
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Is the
concept simple enough to spend more time on character than plot?
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Not really. There’s a tremendous amount of plot.
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Is there
one character that the audience will choose to be their “hero”?
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Jake
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Does
the story follow the progress of the hero’s problem, not the hero’s daily
life?
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Yes
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Does
the story present a unique relationship?
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A
detective and the woman who he was fooled into thinking he was representing.
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Is at
least one actual human being opposed to what the hero is doing?
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Noah
Cross, the cops, etc.
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Does
this challenge represent the hero’s greatest hope and/or greatest fear and/or
an ironic answer to the hero’s question?
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Well,
his greatest suspicion, that the world is hopelessly corrupt
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Does
something inside the hero have a particularly volatile reaction to the
challenge?
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He’s
particularly offended at having been duped.
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Does
this challenge become something that is the not just hard for the hero to do (an obstacle) but hard for the hero
to want to do (a conflict)?
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He has
to care about a client, he has to go back to Chinatown, etc.
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In the
end, is the hero the only one who can solve the problem?
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Yes, he
thinks so, anyway, but he fails to solve it.
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Does
the hero permanently transform the situation and vice versa?
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Yes and
yes. He solves the crime, gets
Evelyn killed, and feels personally destroyed.
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The
Hook: Will this be marketable and generate word of mouth?
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Does
the story satisfy the basic human urges that get people to buy and recommend
this genre?
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Lots of
mystery, sex and death.
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Does
this story show us at least one image we haven’t seen before (that can be
used to promote the final product)?
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The
cut-up nose.
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Is
there at least one “Holy Crap!” scene (to create word of mouth)?
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The
nose-cutting, the mother-sister scene.
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Does
the story contain a surprise that is not obvious from the beginning?
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That’s
not Mrs. Mulwray, the incest.
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Is the
story marketable without revealing the surprise?
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Yes.
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Is the
conflict compelling and ironic both before and after the surprise?
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Yes.
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PART
#2: CHARACTER 21/22
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Believe:
Do we recognize the hero as a human being?
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Does
the hero have a moment of humanity early on? (A funny, or kind, or oddball,
or out-of-character, or comically vain, or unique-but-universal “I thought I
was the only one who did that!” moment?)
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Only
somewhat. His exasperation with his cuckolded clients is somewhat
amusing. The movie makes up for
its lack of hero-identification by making him extra-resourceful.
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Is the
hero defined by ongoing actions and attitudes, not by backstory?
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Yes. The backstory is interesting, but
it’s not what defines him.
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Does
the hero have a well-defined public identity?
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A top
detective.
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Does
the surface characterization ironically contrast with a hidden interior self?
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A bitter ex-cop, totured by his
failures.
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Does the
hero have a consistent metaphor family (drawn from his or her job,
background, or developmental state)?
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He has
two metaphor families. He speaks like a refined gentleman-servant (“What
seems to be the problem?”) most of the time, but the language of a thug
occasionally peeks out. (“All of it quicker than the wind from a duck’s ass
[catches himself] Excuse me!)
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Does
the hero have a default personality trait?
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Cynical
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Does
the hero have a default argument tactic?
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Won’t
listen, bulldozes over you, nails you with inconsistences and evidense he’s
uncovered.
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Is the
hero’s primary motivation for tackling this challenge strong, simple, and
revealed early on?
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Not
really. For most of the movie,
he has no client, and he has little reason for uncovering this conspiracy.
We’ll discuss this more.
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Care:
Do we feel for the hero?
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Does
the hero start out with a shortsighted or wrongheaded philosophy (or accept a
false piece of advice early on)?
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He says
to the fake Mrs. Mulwray, “Have you ever heard the expression, ‘Let sleeping
dogs lie?’ You’re better off not knowing.” He will change his mind about this then come back around
in the final minutes.
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Does
the hero have a false or shortsighted goal in the first half?
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Nail
Mulwray for cheating.
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Does
the hero have an open fear or anxiety about his or her future, as well as a
hidden, private fear?
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Open:
that he won’t get paid. Hidden: that’s he’s a sleaze/leach.
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Is the
hero physically and emotionally vulnerable?
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Yes,
get’s injured, feels hurt.
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Does
the hero have at least one untenable great flaw we empathize with? (but…)
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Too
cold.
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Invest:
Can we trust the hero to tackle this challenge?
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…Is that great flaw (ironically) the natural
flip-side of a great strength we admire?
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Coolly
analytical and effectively deceptive. A great detective.
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Is the
hero curious?
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Very
much so. He claims he’s not, and
he tries not to be, but in fact he’s so curious that he spends most of the
movie investigating without a client.
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Is the
hero generally resourceful?
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Very
much so. The trick with the
watch is great.
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Does
the hero have rules he or she lives by (either stated or implied)?
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Respect
the client, don’t accept being lied to, be superior.
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Is the
hero surrounded by people who sorely lack his or her most valuable quality?
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Even
his assistants lack his resourcefulness and eye for detail.
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…And
is the hero willing to let them know that, subtly or directly?
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Very
much so. He’s openky surly and
defiant of everyone.
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Is the
hero already doing something active when we first meet him or her?
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He’s in
a meeting with a client
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Does
the hero have (or claim) decision-making authority?
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Yes,
he’s the boss.
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Does
the hero use pre-established special skills from his or her past to solve
problems (rather than doing what anybody would do)?
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Yes,
he’s a master detective, and he was a cop before that.
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PART
#3: STRUCTURE (If the story is about the solving of a large problem) 19/21
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1st
Quarter: Is the challenge laid out in the first quarter?
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When
the story begins, is the hero becoming increasingly irritated about his or
her longstanding social problem (while still in denial about an internal
flaw)?
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Social
problem: seen as a dishonest creep.
Internal flaw: too cold and cruel.
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Does
this problem become undeniable due to a social humiliation at the beginning
of the story?
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The man
next to him in the barbershop attacks his work, then he meets the real Mrs.
Mulwray, who humiliates him.
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Does
the hero discover an intimidating opportunity to fix the problem?
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He
decides to follow up.
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Does
the hero hesitate until the stakes are raised?
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Well, the movie
is 18 minutes in by the time he finds out what’s really going on, so it’s too
late for any hesitation.
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Does the hero commit to pursuing the opportunity by the
end of the first quarter?
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Yes.
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2nd
Quarter: Does the hero try the easy way in the second quarter?
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Does
the hero’s pursuit of the opportunity quickly lead to an unforeseen conflict
with another person?
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Lots of
people: thugs, farmers, etc.
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Does
the hero try the easy way throughout the second quarter?
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He
thinks he can find Hollis and clear this up. After Hollis is dead, it’s unclear what his goal is, but
he still seems confident in his abilities before he gets cut.
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Does
the hero have a little fun and get excited about the possibility of success?
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He’s
certainly overcondient, and he enjoys running circles around the cops such as
when he uses Yelburton’s card
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Does the
easy way lead to a big crash around the midpoint, resulting in the loss of a
safe space and/or sheltering relationship?
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Yes and
no. There are two disasters (He gets his nose cut, gets knocked
out by the farmers a few scenes later) but neither of them feels like a
momumentous disillusioning midpoint crash.
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3rd
Quarter: Does the hero try the hard way in the third quarter?
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Does
the hero try the hard way from this point on?
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He
looks past the surface of things, demands the truth out of Evelyn and others.
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Does
the hero find out who his or her real friends and real enemies are?
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Eventually
figures out Evelyn isn’t bad.
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Do the
stakes, pace, and motivation all escalate at this point?
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Yes,
the cops are closing in on both Jake and Evelyn, he’s falling in love with
her, etc.
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Does
the hero learn from mistakes in a painful way?
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The
truth about Catherine is devastating.
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Does a
further setback lead to a spiritual crisis?
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Yes,
finds out the truth about Evelyn and Catherine (and the glasses).
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4th
Quarter: Does the challenge climax in the fourth quarter?
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Does
the hero adopt a corrected philosophy after the spiritual crisis?
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When he
asks Cross ”How much better can you eat?”, he’s also criticizing his own
predatory work ethic earlier in the movie.
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After
that crisis, does the hero finally commit to pursuing a corrected goal, which
still seems far away?
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He
realizes he has to get Evelyn and Catherine out of town, away from Cross and
the police.
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Before
the final quarter of the story begins, (if not long before) has your hero
switched to being proactive, instead of reactive?
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He’s
fairly proactive throughout, despite his claims to the contrary.
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Despite
these proactive steps, is the timeline unexpectedly moved up, forcing the
hero to improvise for the finale?
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Well,
it’s his own fault, because he called the police himself, but he didn’t
realize the trouble it would cause.
He also foolishly chooses to confront Cross in the middle of his
attempts to spirit Evelyn out of the country (In the script, this made more
sense. We’ll discuss it later.)
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Do all
strands of the story and most of the characters come together for the
climactic confrontation?
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Yes,
most everybody: his operative, all of the police, Cross, Mulvahill, Evelyn,
Catherine, and Curly. Only
Yelburton and the man with the knife are missing.
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Does
the hero’s inner struggle climax shortly after (or possible at the same time
as) his or her outer struggle?
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The
same moment.
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Is
there an epilogue/ aftermath/ denouement in which the challenge is finally
resolved (or succumbed to), and we see how much the hero has changed
(possibly through reversible behavior)
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There’s
just a brief moment after the finale, when he’s told “Forget it, Jake, it’s
Chinatown.”
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PART
#4: SCENEWORK 20/20 The scene where Jake confront Noah Cross with the glasses
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The
Set-Up: Does this scene begin with the essential elements it needs?
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Were
tense and/or hopeful (and usually false) expectations for this interaction
established beforehand?
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We’ve
been falsely led to suspect that he might betray Evelyn and Catherine, so
we’re worried about him.
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Does
the scene eliminate small talk and repeated beats by cutting out the
beginning (or possibly even the middle)?
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It starts at
the beginning.
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Is
this an intimidating setting that keeps characters active?
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They’re
right by the murder site.
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Is one
of the scene partners not planning to have this conversation (and quite
possibly has something better to do)?
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Yes and
no: they’re both eager to have this conversation, but they’re both standing,
indicating that they’d each like to get this over with and get somewhere else
as quickly as possible.
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Is
there at least one non-plot element complicating the scene?
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Cross
starts pontificating about tide pools.
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Does
the scene establish its own mini-ticking-clock (if only through subconscious
anticipation)?
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We know
that Jake has to get across town soon to meet Curly.
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The
Conflict: Do the conflicts play out in a lively manner?
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Does this scene both advance the plot and reveal
character through emotional reactions?
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Both
Gittes and Cross recoil from each other’s harshness.
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Does
the audience have (or develop) a rooting interest in this scene (which may
sometimes shift)?
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We
quickly discover that we were wrong to doubt Gittes, so we’re on his side.
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Are
two agendas genuinely clashing (rather than merely two personalities)?
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Gittes
wants to pin the murder on Cross (and then what?), Cross wants his daughter.
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Does
the scene have both a surface conflict and a suppressed conflict (one of which
is the primary conflict in this scene)?
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Surface:
You killed Mulwray. Suppressed: You want to rape your other daughter.
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Is the
suppressed conflict (which may or may not come to the surface) implied
through subtext (and/or called out by the other character)?
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Gittes implies it: “Where’s the girl?”
“She’s with her mother.”
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Are
the characters cagy (or in denial) about their own feelings?
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They’re
both suprisingly cool customers given what they’re discussing.
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Do
characters use verbal tricks and traps to get what they want, not just direct
confrontation?
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He asks
Cross to read the obituary column in low light, forcing him to take out his
(back-up pair of?) reading glasses, thus proving that they’re the same as the
ones he has.
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Is
there re-blocking, including literal push and pull between the scene partners
(often resulting in just one touch)?
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The
obituary is handed over.
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Are
objects given or taken, representing larger values?
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The
obituary column represents the conspiracy, the glasses represent the murder.
Each accusation becomes real and concrete when the object is presented.
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The
Outcome: Does this scene change the story going forward?
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As a
result of this scene, does at least one of the scene partners end up doing
something that he or she didn’t intend to do when the scene began?
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Gittes
is forced to take Cross to Catherine.
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Does
the outcome of the scene ironically reverse (and/or ironically fulfill) the
original intention?
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Yes,
Cross has trapped Gittes instead of the other way around.
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Are
previously-asked questions answered and new questions posed?
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Answered:
Who killed Mulwray? Many questions remain, but no new ones are posed by this
scene.
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Does
the scene cut out early, on a question (possibly to be answered instantly by
the circumstances of the next scene)?
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Implied:
How will Gittes get out of this.
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Is the
audience left with a growing hope and/or fear for what might happen next?
(Not just in the next scene, but generally)
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We’re
very afraid for our hero and the people he was supposed to be protecting.
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PART
#5: DIALOGUE 15/16
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Empathetic:
Is the dialogue true to human nature?
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Does
the writing demonstrate empathy for all of the characters?
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Yes,
even Cross, who gets to defend himself.
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Does
each of the characters, including the hero, have a limited perspective?
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Very
much so.
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Do the
characters consciously and unconsciously prioritize their own wants, rather
than the wants of others?
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Yes and
no. Gittes comes off as cynical
and self-interested, but if you actually try to track his motivations in the
movie, he’s actually acting in the public interest most of the time, against
his own self-interest or the interests of his clients. More about this later.
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Are
the characters resistant to openly admitting their feelings (to others and
even to themselves)?
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Yes. Gittes bristles when asked about the
past.
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Do the
characters avoid saying things they wouldn’t say and doing things they
wouldn’t do?
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Yes. Gittes is strictly professional.
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Do the
characters interrupt each other often?
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Yes.
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Specific: Is the dialogue specific to this world
and each personality?
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Does
the dialogue capture the jargon and tradecraft of the profession and/or
setting?
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Yes,
very much so. Towne seems to
have made himself an expert on detective work.
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Are
there additional characters with distinct metaphor families, default
personality traits, and default argument strategies from the hero’s?
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Evelyn
MF: Snooty wife (“Certainly not!”) DPT: Cool, DAS: Lie,
Noah Cross MF: Patriarchal, DPT:
Affable but vicious, DAS: Blunt accusation, admit all
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Heightened:
Is the dialogue more pointed and dynamic than real talk?
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Is the
dialogue more concise than real talk?
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Yes.
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Does
the dialogue have more personality than real talk?
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Yes. “Do you know what happens to nosy
guys? They lose their noses.”
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Are
there minimal commas in the dialogue (the lines are not prefaced with Yes,
No, Well, Look, or the other character’s name)?
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Yes.
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Do
non-professor characters speak without dependent clauses, conditionals, or
parallel construction?
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Yes.
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Are
the non-3-dimensional characters impartially polarized into head, heart and
gut?
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They’re
all three-dimensional (or no-dimensional, we never get to know his assistants
at all, for instance)
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Strategic: Are certain dialogue scenes withheld
until necessary?
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Does
the hero have at least one big “I understand you” moment with a love interest
or primary emotional partner?
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When
Evelyn tries to overcome his reluctance to talk about Chinatown.
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Is
exposition withheld until the hero and the audience are both demanding to
know it?
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Yes. Exposition is doled out very slowly
and carefully, with no info-dumps.
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Is
there one gutpunch scene, where the subtext falls away and the characters
really lay into each other?
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One of
the most famous.
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Part #6: Tone 7/10
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Genre:
Does the story tap into pre-established expectations?
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Is the
story limited to one genre (or multiple genres that are merged from the
beginning?)
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Noir.
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Is the
story limited to sub-genres that are compatible with each other, without
mixing metaphors?
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Detective,
period piece.
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Does
the ending satisfy most of the expectations of the genre, and defy a few
others?
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The
mystery is solved, but the bad guy gets away with it and the femme fatale is
exonerated of any wrongdoing before she’s killed.
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Separate
from the genre, is a consistent mood (goofy, grim, ‘fairy tale’, etc.)
established early and maintained throughout?
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Cool.
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Framing:
Does the story set, reset, upset and ultimately exceed its own expectations?
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Is
there a dramatic question posed early on, which will establish in the
audience’s mind which moment will mark the end of the story?
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No. This movie has major dramatic
question problems, as we’ll discuss.
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Does the story use framing devices to establish
genre, mood and expectations?
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No. The narration was cut, which made it
feel more immediate, but removed the glue that held the scenes together,
giving the movie a hallucinatory lack of scene-to-scene logic.
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Are
there characters whose situations prefigure various fates that might await
the hero?
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He
mentions another woman who he tried to help only to get her hurt.
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Does
foreshadowing create anticipation and suspense (and refocus the audience’s
attention on what’s important)?
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Tons of
it.
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Are
reversible behaviors used to foreshadow and then confirm change?
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Jake
cares “as little as possible” about the problems of Curly and the fake Mrs.
Mulwray, then gets very involved by the end.
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Is the
dramatic question answered at the very end of the story?
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The
dramatic question has shifted many times before we reach the end.
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PART
7: THEME 14/14
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Difficult:
Is the meaning of the story derived from a fundamental moral dilemma?
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Can
the overall theme be stated in the form of an irreconcilable good vs. good
(or evil vs. evil) dilemma?
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Honor
the past or build the future.
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Is a
thematic question asked out loud (or clearly implied) in the first half, and
left open?
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Jake
sputters “I make an honest living.” Does he? Can anyone?
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Do the
characters consistently have to choose between goods, or between evils,
instead of choosing between good and evil?
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Take
sleazy cases or not? Publicize the results or not? Take on two clients with
competing interests or not?
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Grounded:
Do the stakes ring true to the world of the audience?
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Does
the story reflect the way the world works?
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Very
much so. It’s a great picture of how conspiracies work.
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Does
the story have something authentic to say about this type of setting (Is it
based more on observations of this type of setting than ideas about it)?
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Very
much so. The nature of Los
Angeles is a constant topic, and it’s based on deep research (which was then
totally fictionalized)
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Does
the story include twinges of real life national pain?
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Very
much so. It’s as much about
Watergate as it is about 1937.
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Are
these issues and the overall dilemma addressed in a way that avoids moral
hypocrisy?
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Yes.
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Do all
of the actions have real consequences?
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Very
much so.
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Subtle: Is the theme interwoven throughout so
that it need not be discussed often?
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Do
many small details throughout subtly and/or ironically tie into the thematic
dilemma?
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Very
much so: Water references and imagery are everywhere, as are references to
eyes.
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Are
one or more objects representing larger ideas exchanged throughout the story,
growing in meaning each time?
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The
reading glasses, the property ledger sheet, the watch, the obituary column.
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Untidy:
Is the dilemma ultimately irresolvable?
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Does
the ending tip towards one side of the thematic dilemma without resolving it
entirely?
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It is
better to honor the past than shoddily and unjustly build the future.
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Does
the story’s outcome ironically contrast with the initial goal?
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Yes,
the heroes get the opposite of what they want.
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In the
end, is the plot not entirely tidy (some small plot threads left unresolved,
some answers left vague)?
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Very
much so. If you go back and
think about it, little of it makes sense, but the audience doesn’t care.
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Do the
characters refuse (or fail) to synthesize the meaning of the story, forcing
the audience to do that?
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Very
much so. He chooses to “forget
about it”
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Final Score: 114 out of 122
4 comments:
"Gittes comes off as cynical and self-interested, but if you actually try to track his motivations in the movie, he’s actually acting in the public interest most of the time, against his own self-interest or the interests of his clients. More about this later. "
This is interesting, and I'll be happy to read what more you have to say about it, but on its face, I think it's more complicated. It has always seemed to me that Jake's "public interest" motivations are opaque to him--in fact that he has purposely hidden them from himself, so that if at any point before the finale you asked Jake himself, "are you prioritizing your own wants, rather than the wants of others?" he would (honestly) answer yes, citing his desire to clear his name and not be taken for a sucker.
I, of course, agree that he would be wrong, but I think his motivations as stated by him are strong enough for the viewer to go along with.
A comment! Yay! But we should probably hold off until Sunday, when I'll make my case in depth that Jake is far more selfless than he lets on.
I'm working this out as I type, so inconsistencies may follow...
Can the overall theme be stated in the form of an irreconcilable good vs. good (or evil vs. evil) dilemma?: Honor the past or build the future
I don't think that's quite it. I read Chinatown as asking whether it's better to dig up the horrors of the past in the slim hopes of a better future or keeping your head down and tending to your own narrow life, letting the horrors alone. The through-line of the movie is Gittes pursuing answers not just because he's curious but because he wants to do the right thing, even if he won't admit it to anyone, including himself.
The movie is a lament that heroism is both admirable and a bad idea. Their world is an irredeemable sack of crap, and perhaps it would have been better had Gittes never tried at all. At least then Evelyn would still be alive and might be able to protect Catherine from their father. Is it better to fight against an unfair, evil world, knowing that your efforts will probably only make it worse, or pretend you don't see and hope that your non-interference is the right choice?
What makes the movie so affecting is we see Gittes morally rise, and we love it -- he goes from sleaze to "offended at having been fooled" to "outraged over malfeasance" to "hero protecting women and children from predator" over the story, and we see hope for ourselves in it. We too could be stirred to great action in the face of horror. Then it all goes horribly wrong and we're left shattered. Was heroism ever a good idea? Can we do anything about the great wrongs? Deep down we suspect and fear that the answer is "no," and very few stories say that to us. It feels true in a way we don't like but have difficulty arguing against.
So maybe the question is "is heroism worth it?" We desperately want the answer to be yes but we're afraid that it's no. We should forget it, it's Chinatown.
I think I like yours better. Mine felt a little false to me. Maybe it's evil vs. evil: Do nothing in a horrible world vs. act to make things better knowing that you'll probably make things worse (because it's a horrible world). In the end, the story tips toward doing nothing.
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