Cockeyed Caravan: Post-Holiday Dieting Tip: Won't Someone Think of the Children?

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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Post-Holiday Dieting Tip: Won't Someone Think of the Children?

Posted by Matt Bird at 11:00 AM

1 comment:

tanita davis said...: *speechless*; 3:10 PM

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Features (Posts Are in Backwards Order)

Manuscript Consultation!
Posts Listed in the Book's Afterword
The Ultimate Story Checklist
The Ultimate Pilot Checklist
Checklist Roadtests
Straying From the Party Line
Narrative Breakdown Podcast
Secrets of Story Podcast
Videos
Storyteller's Rulebook
Underrated Movies (and TV)
The Hero Project
How to Write Every Day
How To Generate A Story Idea
How To Evaluate A Story Idea
How To Create A Character
How (Not) To Alienate An Audience
How To Structure A Story
Specific Genre Structures
How To Build A Scene
How to Craft Dialogue
How To Manage Expectations
How to Shape Your Theme
How To Write A Screenplay
How to Give and Receive Notes
How To Re-Write...
...And Then Revise
Popular Writing Misconceptions
Know More Than You Show
How To Meet With A Producer
How To Get Ahead In Film (Or Life)
How To Create A TV Show
Head-Heart-Gut: Polarized Ensembles
The Great Guru Showdown
Mackendrick's Rules
Problem, Opportunity, Conflict
The 15 Minutes Project
Hero Personality Profiles
Books Vs. Movies
The Story Project
Beyond Good Vs. Sucky
Best of the Year
The Meddler
What Should've Won
Special Guest Picks
What's the Matter With Hollywood?
Film School Confidential

Book Annotations

Harry Potter
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Holes
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Donnie Brasco
Frozen
Groundhog Day
How to Train Your Dragon
In a Lonely Place
Iron Man
Raising Arizona
Rushmore
Sideways
Star Wars
Sunset Boulevard
The 40 Year Old Virgin
The Babadook
The Fighter
The Fugitive
The Shining
The Silence of the Lambs

Pilot Checklists and In-Depth Posts

24
Breaking Bad
Cheers
Community
CSI
How I Met Your Mother
Mad Men
Modern Family
Scandal
Stranger Things
The Sopranos
Transparent
Weeds

Underrated Movies

49th Parallel
5000 Fingers of Dr. T, The
Act of Violence
Alice's Restaurant
Antz
Apartment Zero
Artists and Models
Atomic Cafe, The
Ball of Fire
Ballad of Cable Hogue, The
Barcelona
Be Kind Rewind
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
Below
Big Easy, The
Black Narcissus
Blast of Silence
Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice
Bright Young Things
Brother From Another Planet
Caught
Cedar Rapids
Charley Varrick
Clockwatchers
Closer
Court Jester, The
Dark Days
Dead Man
Defending Your Life
Destry Rides Again
Diva
Doubt
Downhill Racer
Easy Living
Electra Glide in Blue
Encounters at the End of the World
Every Little Step
Falcon and the Snowman, The
Fallen Idol, The
Fireman's Ball, The
For a Few Dollars More
Fort Apache
Frenzy
Funny Bones
Funny Ha Ha
Girl Can't Help It, The
Gold Diggers of 1933
Great McGinty, The
Hamlet 2
Happy Go Lucky
Hero
High and Low
Holiday
Hopscotch
Human Desire
Il Posto
In the Loop
Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion
It's Always Fair Weather
Jump Tomorrow
Junebug
Kansas City
Killer of Sheep
Killer's Kiss
Killing, The
Kind Hearts and Coronets
King of Kong
Kiss Me, Stupid
Kontroll
La Ronde
Landlord, The
Letters From Iwo Jima
Lineup, The
Little Fugitive, The
Little Murders
Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner, The
Lost in America
Love and Death on Long Island
Love Me Tonight
Lover Come Back
Man in the White Suit, The
Manhattan Murder Mystery
Metroland
Metropolitan
Miami Blues
Mickey One
Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy, A
Mirage
Monkey Business
Monsieur Hire
Mr. and Mrs. Smith (1941)
Murder By Contract
Murder of Fred Hampton, The
My Favorite Wife
Never Cry Wolf
Next Stop, Greenwich Village
Nobody's Fool
Nothing But a Man
One False Move
One Two Three
Peeping Tom
Prick Up Your Ears
Pulp
Queen Christina
Real Life
Red Eye
Red House, The
Reprise
Ride Lonesome
Ronin
Saboteur
Safety Last
Salesman
Salvador
Scarlet Street
Secret Lives of Dentists, The
Shattered
Shoot to Kill
Simple Men
Slums of Beverly Hills
Small Back Room, The
Smile
Sniper, The
Son of Paleface
Stage Door
Summer of Sam
Tension
The Informant!
Thin Blue Line, The
To Live and Die in L.A.
Trading Places
Two For the Road
Unfaithfully Yours
Vera Cruz
Victim
Walkabout
Waterland
Wendy and Lucy
Went the Day Well?
Where The Sidewalk Ends
White Sheik, The
Who's That Knocking At My Door?

Storyteller's Rulebook

Tell Stories, Show Character
A Movie Is About A Person's Problem
Audiences Don't Want To Be Hurt
Beware Of Over-Motivation
Over-Motivation: The Proof
Talent CAN Be Taught
Movies Are Change, TV Is Fate
The Villain's Plan Comes First
Structure Was Discovered
Unhappy Endings Can't Be Easy
Sympathetic Doesn't Mean Likable
Depth is Found in Holes
Throw Away The Map
Take Away The Safe Spaces
Defying Expectation is Easy
They Call It Breaking In For A Reason
A Cell Phone Can't Solve the Problem
It's Not Just Luck and Skill
Twists Should Explain Everything
Buy The Canvas, Call The Shots
The Committee May Not Last
Be An Armchair Journalist
Listening To Real Cops and Crooks
Throw Everything Into Relief
A Screenwriter's Code of Ethics
Don't Count Liabilities As Assets
First You Have To Make A Thriller
Let It All Hang Out
Split One Person In Two
Know What They Do All Day
Be A Good God
Directors Need To Get Bored
Imagine You're On An Airplane
Be Unhateable
It Comes Right Out
Movie Heroes Can't Keep Their Cool
Thrillers are Nutty...
...But Creature Features Make Sense
Why Do Hamlet and Batman Delay?
Coping With Remake Fever
Prospectors and Alchemists
Objects Need Affection Too
Genre Is How It Feels
People Only Want What They Want
Do As They Did, Not As They Say
Leave a Question Unanswered
Kitchens are Better Than Bedrooms
Who's Chasing Who?
The Rule of Evidence, Part 1
The Rule of Evidence, Part 2
Embrace Coitus Interruptus
The First Rule of Write Club
Love Your Naysayer
Pure Isn't Always Better
You Have To Make It Wrong
What's Your Problem?
Do More Than One Thing
How to Succeed at Karaoke
Angry Minds Don't Think Alike
The Good Advice Problem...
...And the Bad Advice Solution
From Zero to Caring
Upsetting News Is the Best News
Catholics Beat Protestants Anyday
And Sweet Potato Beats Sweetheart
Find Unique-But-Universal Details
Let Them Hang Themselves
Know The Way The World Works
The Mastermind Exception
Don't Laugh Away The Danger
Be Incomprehensible
Don't Flip That Metaphor
Two Hour Movie = One Hour Plot
You Have To Be Dense To Be Lean
Screw-Ups Don't Screw Up All Day
The Dark Side of Bio-Pics
Tone is a Tool
Lovers Can't Just Be Lovers
Opposition Creates Meaning
Redemption Requires Actual Guilt
Don't Start From Scratch
Embrace Teleportation
Mentors are Overrated
Disabilities Aren't Personality Flaws
Confront the Great Hypocricy
Training Sequences Are Death
Sometimes Winning Isn't Enough
Everybody's Success Helps Everybody
Write the Emotions You Know
Huge Problems Need Huge Motivation
Outlandish Plots, Realistic Emotions
Sturgeon, Zeno, and Easy Street
Don't Misuse the Power of Humilation
Let Your Characters Object
We'll Care if the Hero Cares
You Can't Always Want What You Get
Play By The Rules
Make a Rule to Break a Rule
Money Is Too Generic
Literature Vs. Entertainment
Speak Their Language And Your Own
Polarize Your Protagonists...
...But Don't Play Favorites
To Get the Latest Rules, Click Here

How To Create a Compelling Character

Introduction
Characterize Them
Contrast That With Their Inner Life
Create A Metaphor Family
Add A Default Personality Trait
Give Them A Universal Fear
And a Painful Dilemma
Let Them Lay Down The Law
Choose a False Goal and a True Goal
And Two Statements of Philosophy
Make Them Resourceful
Set Their Deadline
Conclusion

The Hero Project

Are All Heroes On The Same Journey?
Are Hero Stories Empowering?
Can Heroes Really Start At Zero?
Do Heroes Need Special Skills?
So What Is A Hero Anyway?
Nine Types of Heroes
Two Sub-Categories
Skills Are Where You Find Them
Freud and Jung and Tony and Don
You Have To Not Want To Change
But What About Hitchcock?
Hitchcock's Ill-Equipped Heroes
In the Shadowlands
So Why Categorize?
Hit the Ground Running Uphill
Now Meet the Villains
Beware of Default Mode
The Character Creation Checklist
The Ultimate Question
Weakness Strikes Back
Cheers Vs. Fears
The Wrong Person To Pick On
Why Does the Villain Fail?
He Knew You Were Going To Do That
Goofus and Gallant
Been Up So Long It Looks Like Down
Inconvenient Revelations
The Monster At The End Of This Book
Is Every Hero A Luke Or Han?
A Unified Structure

Underrated TV

Better Off Ted
Black Books
Century of the Self, The
Coupling (UK)
Danger Man, aka Secret Agent
Dragnet, the b&w years
Good Neighbors
Hitchcock does "Hitchcock"
Kingdom, The
Life On Mars (UK)
Lone Star
Lou Grant
Lucky Louie
Naked City
Police Squad!
Sandbaggers, The
Slings and Arrows
That Mitchell and Webb Look
Tick, The (animated)

Cheesy Movies

Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
Demolition Man
Demon Knight
Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story
Hard Rain
Jackie Chan's First Strike
Terminal Velocity
The Scorpion King

Comics

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About Me

Matt Bird: New York City, NY, United States; I have an MFA in Screenwriting from Columbia University. I write screenplays and other things. Nothing you've seen.

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More info about all these movies at the Internet Movie Database
Aggregated movie reviews at Rotten Tomatoes
My lovely wife's blog at School Library Journal

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